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q&a from a local cancer battler

8/7/2017

Recently I have been in contact with some cancer battlers and here are some questions & answers I have had from one local bloke which I thought I would publish.

It always good to know what people want in our area and here are some very honest answers.

How important do you believe support is for a person battling with cancer & Why?
Extremely important. Many cancer suffers have a wide variety of support and can differ considerably. In my situation, l have a very supportive network of family and friends who have help use greatly over the past two years. From mowing your lawns, support with your kids or just someone to talk to in specific moments during the battle can be very beneficial. There are also a number of agencies and support groups that are out there who are willing to help a range of people with a range of needs.

How has your life changed since being diagnosed with cancer? Considerably but I have also maintained a relatively normal lifestyle as possible. I really enjoyed playing sport which unfortunately has taken a back seat at the moment until I win the battle. My outlook on life is a little different and I try to enjoy every possible moment with my family and friends. I have made changes to a range of things to hopefully support my treatment and outcome.

What support kind would you like see in Albury/Wodonga? The same as you would be see in any metropolitan city (Melbourne or Sydney) however this isn’t possible. The opening of the Albury/Wodonga Regional Cancer Centre has been fantastic and allows patients to receive their treatment in a fantastic environment (even though it’s one you don’t ever want to see) instead of getting in a car and having to travel.

What do you think has helped you the most while dealing with Cancer? Maintaining a normal lifestyle as much as possible and having an extremely positive outlook on life. There has been a number of terrible moments throughout the journey however l maintain that l will win this battle and some things will work to get rid of this disease outside my body. Also the understanding of family, friends and my employee. They have all been wonderful, caring and understanding of the situation that I find myself in.

What advice would you give someone who got diagnosed for the first time? Be positive. There will be moments of negative experience and disappointment however you have a life to live so live it. Do your research on your disease, ask the questions you need and also be persistent in getting the responses/treatment you’re after. Also our doctors are the most educated people in this field so trust what they are telling you and believe in the treatment that you’re undertaking.

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tiptoe around cancer

8/3/2017

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Why don’t people like talking about Cancer?

I was at the local swimming pool yesterday when an old bloke asked me about my leg (I suffer from pretty bad lymphedema) . When I replied, “It’s getting there, mate,” he then asked how it happened. Well - I told him I had a cancer, that it was cut out from the groin and the bloke just shut up and left.
This led me to think why is there so much stigma around cancer and why do people avoid talking about it?

My vision for Chat 4 Cure is to do the same thing that Beyond Blue is doing - providing advice and support for men’s depression - but for cancer patients. I want people to feel okay about talking about cancer and what that means for their family & friends. I believe talking is one of the biggest healing aids around.

My wife & I are leaders at a church in Albury/Wodonga where we run what’s called a connect group mentoring 18 – 25 year olds. Last Wednesday we had fifteen of these guys at our house and we spoke about my results (I have just be re-diagnosed with lung cancer), what that means for us and how we might not be around often in the next coming months. We then opened the floor up for discussion - for everyone to talk and ask questions freely. This was great time of sharing (and caring) and now the people we are leading don’t feel afraid about what I’m going through and feel comfortable asking questions.

This has helped my wife and I but also those who are close to us. Now everyone is on the same page, understands our situation and supports and cheers us on even more.

So lets start honestly talk about what we are going through with people because if we start sharing they will be able to support us even more. This week we have had people make meals for us and hang out with us. We even had a knock & runner come to our door and leave us lollies and gold class tickets (we still don’t know who this was)!

Just because someone has cancer please don't think you can't talk to them. You’re not going to catch it! You’re not going to make them sad by asking about it and I believe that the person will find healing relief when you talk to them about their situation. Share the stories and care for the Storyteller.

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Chat 4 cure's Goals

7/20/2017

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Usually when we struggle we don’t look for help from the people willing to help us - mainly our friends! Is it because we don’t even know ourselves what is involved and what we really need?

All of this is just ‘too hard’ sometimes - I get it. Do you even have the energy to explain what your needs are? CHAT 4 CURE leads the way in sharing a to-do list for helpful friends to be open and vulnerable with you (the patient) so that you get the support you need most. Share this post!

At Chat 4 Cure we want to help anyone we can, especially younger people. I would love to have an APPthat a patient can download on their smart phone and fill in the prompts to access support networks. This support will be able to come from anywhere in our local region to start off with (and to the whole nation once we expand!) When I was going through Chemo I was in the chair for 6 hours a day, 4 days a week - You could say I used my phone a lot in those times!

CHAT 4 CURE’s to-do list.

Be relatable: Be relatable to the patient. It’s best not to tip-toe around uncomfortable issues. Be sensitive and tell your patient that you are with them in this tough season, that it sucks to be in their shoes but you’ll be with them through it all. This brings so much comfort to them and enriches your friendship. From my own experiences, empathy works.

Encourage the person: I would love to have a list of people that Chat 4 Cure are cheering on and every week send them a message that says, “Hey! I’m here cheering you on and I want you to know I think you’re incredibly brave. If you need something, it’s getting too hard to go on and you don’t know what to do, send me a text and lets talk about it.” (Younger people don’t necessarily like using the phone to call but will DM or text to their hearts content). As a friend, sending a message every week is good encouragement to your patient to continue through this season with your support.

Get the family involved: What I have noticed more often than not is its harder on those closest to the patient than it is for the patient. I want to be able to help out the wife/husband, sons/daughters, mothers/fathers,grandparents etc. As a cancer patient myself I would of much rather the support to go to my wife! If there was a charity that said to me “You can either pay your medical bill or pay for your wife to go and get pampered (hair, nails, massage), I would of chosen the pamper sesh for my wife! She fought harder than I did, she had to be stronger than me, she had to put her feelings on hold just to make sure I was doing alright.

These are just some ways CHAT 4 CURE’s vision break down the barriers of patient & support. Please comment if you have any ideas about supporting patients and breaking barriers. We would love to hear them!

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5 Ways To Stay Positive Through Cancer:

6/22/2017

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Having cancer is not normal but how are some ways to live a normal life and remain hope filled? I’m not a big fan of people saying silly things like “Don’t get your hopes up” or “You can’t do that” when you somehow find a CAN in CANcer.

This week as I watched one of my friends playing football for Lavington Panthers against Wangaratta Rovers, I noticed a guy with a serious disability playing first grade Australian Rules. He was missing one arm. He is a guy that refused to listen to people saying “you can’t because”… and nor should you listen to people who say that “you can’t because.

Here are 5 ways to Keep Positive through Cancer.

Stop Blaming You: It’s not his fault if he was born with only one arm and it’s not your fault that you now have cancer. Maybe you maintained a bad diet, maybe you were a heavy chain smoker, maybe you were an alcoholic, maybe you were exposed to dangerous chemicals, maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe. This is what you know now - you have cancer, you can’t change it, blaming yourself for past actions does not help you heal or keep positive. The blame game is not going to be good for you and neither is living in denial. Accept your situation.

2. Stop Blaming Others: Others may no longer treat you the same way before you had cancer. They may act insensitive. They are afraid that you might die, afraid they might not say the right things, afraid to offend you, afraid for you, that sometimes they will often not say the right things and will offend you. This is their own journey that they need to take but it’s best not to blame them for their feelings and tough times too.

3. Do What You Can Do: Its very important to make life as normal as possible. You’ve made massive changes, massive readjustments. Some things you use to do easy - as easy as breathing - that you can’t do anymore. What you can do in CANcer is do the things you still can do. Write a list such as playing cards with friend, going to the movies, attending a class that you would normally attend. This all helps with just remembering that you are a normal person.

4. Do Something You Love: Since being diagnosed with cancer you may find you have a lot of free time on your hands. What do you love doing? For some that could be walking, for others it could be movies, puzzles, games etc. What helped me while I was in hospital or at home recovering was my love of building things. I used to get a lot of people buying me Lego & Nano Blocks and sometimes it was a challenge but easy enough if you followed the instructions… which maybe I didn’t do so well!

5. Learn A New skill: Simply learn a skill. Of course, start at home by yourself through the magic of YouTube, or try courses for something you always wanted to learn like a language, a craft, a project etc. For me I learnt magic tricks off YouTube and I also enrolled myself as a full time student last year doing a certificate IV in Ministry & Leadership. When I first started chemo it was challenging but it gave me plenty of time to do my readings and attend online classes even at the hospital.

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q&a from a local cancer battler

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Chat 4 cure's Goals

5 Ways To Stay Positive Through Cancer:

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